I am constantly having a conversation in my head. And I mean constantly. Sometimes all I want to do is turn that conversation off. I often feel a rush of inspiration that comes to me from I don’t know where. An interesting tidbit, a light shone on something I hadn’t fully understood before, a fresh idea, an understanding that is new to me. I used to just let those marinate in my mind for a few minutes, and then do nothing. The idea would slowly vaporize and disappear as if it had never been there in the first place.
At the same time, I was trying to understand why I had no connection to my intuition, why I did not seem to have this internal Knowing that other people talk about. I felt like my anxiety was the voice in my head that was often speaking to me, and I had learned from experience that it wasn’t always great to follow that voice. If I did, most days I would want to crawl into bed and live under my covers, and bring my loved ones there too so that nothing could ever happen to them. But then I started to understand that there was a difference between the scared, small thoughts that my anxiety was having, and the more pure, fresh, light-hearted thoughts that felt like they were tossed into my brain from some unseen source.
About a year ago, I began to start trusting those inspirational tidbits. I started writing them down. I began keeping notes in my phone or on paper, or whatever I had at hand. I didn’t try to make sense of them, I just started capturing them and telling myself that they didn’t need to make sense in the moment, just write them down and then continue about my day. Later on, I could return to these thoughts and the sentence I had written down was enough of a thread that would lead me back to what was on my mind at the time. I started to tease them into bigger thoughts, allow them the freedom to expand, chapters. I found that if I took care of myself, created some space for inspiration (solitude, post-exercise, calming music), these thoughts and ideas would start to unfurl in my mind and often pour out my fingertips and onto the page. It wasn’t about whether it was any good. It was the process itself. It felt good to me. And I started to realize that maybe I did have a connection to something bigger than myself that I hadn’t really paid too much attention to before.
I was starting to exercise a muscle that had been long neglected. I started to trust what came to me, and not judge it. Just write it down. It may or may not develop into something interesting. It didn’t matter, just write it down. Continue to care for myself, and keep turning inwards. Creating space for my creativity. What an interesting way to spend my time. I felt inspired. I was curious about this connection I had found, and I quickly developed a desire to nurture and grow this muscle.
I had been writing for a while. Fitting it into a busy family life and schedule when I could. With no pressure to write every day or every week, just write when I could. So that’s what I did. And then I was given the advice that I should start putting my writing out into the world on a blog. Not for any other reason than to further grow and expand the creative muscle I had been building. Get some feedback, conquer my fear, maybe it would turn into a book one day, maybe it would not, but just do it. And then do it again. And again. So here I am.
Inspiration comes from so many places. Sometimes inside of us, sometimes from some mysterious external place that I now pay close attention to. It also comes from each other. We are all influenced and inspired by what we see, hear, watch, read, listen to, so make sure you are surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy, light, energy and inner peace. Then take action.
I have made this a priority in my life, and I am buoyed up by so many people around me who are interested in the same journey. Let’s keep lifting each other up. Find the joy. Be the joy. If this speaks to you, please share how you relate to this. If this doesn’t speak to you, then you wouldn’t have read this far anyways so I don’t need to worry about what you think. Onwards, let’s take the next right step.