On being alone…

What a year it has been. I see so many people reflecting on 2020 and all it has held for us. I am not into resolutions, but I do enjoy looking back and seeing how far I have come, what I have learned, as a way to remind myself of the direction I want to keep moving in. ‘Momentum’ might just be my word right now. Just keep moving. One step at a time. And sometimes this momentum is about keeping still, getting quiet, returning to my alignment. Shutting out the “noise” that has become really loud this last year. This is crucial for me. And it seems like this year has had more “noise” in it than I ever remember before. I get caught up in it easily. It is not good for my body, mind or my spirit. It quickly tilts me into overwhelm. And then I instinctively turn inwards and return to the things I already know. Get quiet. Listen. Write. Create. Self-care.

Being alone now recharges me. Allows me to focus. To let go of what is not important, and return to what is. I crave it now. That is a huge change for me. I don’t “need” company like I used to. When I give myself daily time to reflect, meditate and recharge, I am better able to enjoy my interactions with people. But I have to start with me first. As women, we are taught to give and give and give. This can leave us feeling depleted and empty. I love how Oprah explains that we should not give from our cup. We should fill our own cup up to overflowing, and then give from the saucer. If our cup is not full, then do not give. Always return to filling our own cup first. This really stuck with me this year, and it has allowed me to make big changes and leaps that I wouldn’t necessarily have been comfortable with a few years ago. A work in progress, but I am learning and growing.

Being alone allows me to not always turn outwards for the ‘answers’ I am seeking, but to turn inwards and find the next step that is right for me. Not someone else. If we don’t shut out the noise, sometimes we don’t even give ourselves the time and space to think. Until it is 2am, or 4am, and our mind thinks it is time to use the quiet to process all that is happening. Take that time each day to give yourself some space. It is such a gift. And there is nothing better than feeling truly calm and connected to who we are inside. Knowing exactly how we are feeling because we have checked in. Intuitively knowing what our body needs and then taking steps to make that happen. Fill our own cup first. A message we have heard many times before – on the airplane – put your mask on first. That never made sense to me. I get it now. Some of these things take a long time to learn. I wish I had learned it a little earlier, but here we are. This is the perfect time.

Of all the pain, suffering, uncertainty, conflicting information of 2020, I am focussing on the gifts, and the lessons I have learned. Keep going. Just one step. Stay open. Get quiet. Listen for the whispers. Pay attention. Write them down. They are just for you. And don’t cost a thing. Find joy in the moments. Breathe. Water our own fucking grass… and see how green it gets.

We are not all in the same circumstances. This year has been so many different things to so many different people. I give thanks to all who are sacrificing themselves and their family to ensure the safety of the rest of us. Thank you. And don’t forget to take time alone for yourself. We need you, to show up with an overflowing cup. Reach out. Connect. Ask for what you need. And always return to yourself, and get in touch with the things that only you know. We need you.

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